It is rare to find a person who is managing to navigate life without the distractions of social media. However you use it, most of us partake in at least one social media platform for work, leisure or both. And while we can all point to the value it gives (who hasn’t learnt a hack or two from social media reels?!) there is a dark side that can drain energy, time, and wellbeing, and children and young people seem to be particularly vulnerable.
Expecting pupils to avoid social media is neither wise nor desirable. It is far better to encourage responsible use. Being able to use social media is part of digital literacy and an important skill to have. It provides opportunities as well as challenges, but learning about the pitfalls is crucial.
A recent study by the charity Parenting Mental Health, which is on a mission to reach, support and skill one million parents through their child’s poor mental health by 2026, polled more than 600 parents on issues such as mobile phone usage, social media and gaming. It found that, despite the majority of parents worrying about the impact devices have on their children, almost two-thirds of parents (62%) do not monitor or control their child’s phone. On the whole, parents who have had conversations with their children about safe and responsible social media use said that their child had been receptive about the discussions, with 75% saying their child was ‘very’ or ‘somewhat’ receptive, compared to 20% who said their child was ‘not’ receptive.
A spokesperson for the charity stated that, “We wanted to share that more than half (55%) of parents say that social media has negatively impacted their child’s social relationships with their peers and 66% of parents have noticed changes in their child’s mood, self-esteem or behaviour as a result of using social media, according to new research.”
These are sobering statistics. Spotting the signs of social media addiction can be difficult, but it is essential to be clued up. Parenting Mental Health suggests that knowing whether your child has a genuine addiction is the first step to helping them. “Are they using their device in risky situations or choosing to be on it instead of eating and sleeping? Are they waking up in the night and using their phone, or staying up late and waking up early to use their phone before school? This could indicate an addiction or reliance on the device,” a spokesperson from the charity said.
Parenting Mental Health suggests that other signs and symptoms of addiction and imbalanced phone usage include, but are not limited to:
- Irritability and mood swings
- Lying about what they use their phone for or when they use their phone
- Feelings of guilt or shame around phone use
- Low self-esteem and confidence
- Spending large amounts of time thinking or obsessing about their phone
- Feeling a loss of control around phone use
- Social isolation
If a child in your care is showing signs of inappropriate phone and social media use it is important to help them to determine why this is happening. There may be several underlying causes. Parenting Mental Health suggests that this could be to do with fear of missing out, but other factors could be based around the habits we form in our daily lives, some of which can be unhealthy for us. Importantly, however, sinking time into phone and social media usage can be due to the need for a distraction from mental health issues. Scrolling provides a temporary break for young people, despite the problematic consequences there may be.
There are ways of supporting young people around phone and social media use. These ideas may help:
- Positive student/staff relationships help to build trust and respect. Making and maintaining strong connections with students helps the message be heard and acted upon when discussing things like social media usage.
- Build a sense of online community through your work with young people. If you run social media accounts for the purposes of enhancing education, be sure to engage with posts and encourage discussion when moderating.
- Consider the educational use you can make out of groups on, for example, Facebook, Pinterest, YouTube, LinkedIn and so on. Can they be used in your context as a way of enhancing what goes on in the classroom? This is a great way of demonstrating that social media can be used in a productive, purposeful way.
- Use social media to promote the culture and ethos of your school and classes.
- Consider promoting the real-world applications of social media in the context of your subject.
- Use social media as a way of helping pupils to think critically about what they read online.
- Encourage pupils to set clear boundaries for social media usage and help them to be strict about those boundaries so that they can gain some balance in their lives. Help them to think about taking breaks from social media for days, weeks or months at a time.
- Help pupils to be aware that social media is sometimes (often?) used for marketing purposes to persuade consumers to make purchases or to create desire for a life or lifestyle users do not yet have. The more we use social media, the more we are exposed to marketing, much of it targeted directly at us.
- Remind pupils that social media can be a blend of truth and fabrication, real life and imagined life.
- Help pupils to discern the good from the bad. Social media can help us to stay connected with family and friends, and with others we would not encounter in our daily lives with whom we share an affinity, but it can also cause us distress and upset. Some studies have shown that it can lead to sleep disturbance, anxiety and depression, and loneliness, particularly in young people. It can also lead to aggressive encounters that would not typically occur face to face. Young people need to be helped to understand that what they say on social media can be, in effect, part of their public profile. Would they want their parents to read it? A future employer? An admissions tutor? A partner? Caution is advisable.
Helping to find a balance
Parenting Mental Health suggests that, “If the signs and symptoms resonate and you are concerned that your child is addicted to their mobile phone, make time to talk to them about how they are using it and show a genuine interest about what they are doing when they are using it. Look at patterns in what time they use their phone the most and how they seem to behave afterwards; for example, whether they seem more anxious as a result.”
It is important to talk about the problem of inappropriate phone usage together. Parenting Mental Health suggests ensuring that the child feels heard and understood. It is also important to give them the opportunity to understand the impact their phone usage is having on them. “Avoid using the word ‘addiction’, which can make children feel belittled and disempowered. Creating a pros and cons list together can be a great way to provide a sense of control, ensuring they know their feelings are valid and that they are being listened to. You can then think of ways that they can navigate this together, making small changes that will give them more balance but being clear that you’re not asking them to stop using it altogether. Small wins on the journey should be celebrated and frequent recognition of changes - no matter how small - will help your child to feel trusted and motivated to continue.”
Ultimately, we can set great examples, and guide young people around making phones work for them to avoid the pitfalls, but there may be occasions when professional counselling would be advisable. Making sure that there is visible guidance on where to get help, and signposting support for parents and young people is a positive step for schools to take.
Find out more…
About Parenting Mental Health
Parenting Mental Health (PMH) is one of the few charities in the UK that specifically helps parents who are supporting a child with mental health challenges and whose needs and impact for positive change are all too often overlooked.
About the author
Elizabeth Holmes
After graduating with a degree in Politics and International Relations from the University of Reading, Elizabeth Holmes completed her PGCE at the Institute of Education, University of London. She then taught humanities and social sciences in schools in London, Oxfordshire and West Sussex, where she ran the history department in a challenging comprehensive. Elizabeth specialises in education but also writes on many other issues and themes. As well as her regular blogs for Eteach and FEjobs, her books have been published by a variety of publishers and translated around the world. Elizabeth has also taught on education courses in HE and presented at national and international conferences.
